Is there really a such thing as true friends?

I really try to not let alot of stuff bother me, but it just seems like its just been one thing after another and now something is going around by people I thought were friends that has really just floored me.  Every since I had my hystorectomy and other stuff done during the surgery I've had alot of problems with my stomach and just food period. Its seems it either goes right through me or comes up. I do eat even tho it is very painful but nothing I does has helped and needless to say Ive lost alot of weight. Its gotton worse in the past 3 months or so and it has nothing to do with the chemo I went through because I had the problems before the chemo and right after the surgery. Anyway instead of  anyone just asking me whats going on so I can inform them that Im fixing to be going through a ton of test to get to the bottom of it...oh no they " my so-called-friends" have been saying "have you seen her and how much weight she has lost? She must be doing drugs or making herself throw up". The only reason I did find out is some of them finally asked one of my family members about it. I just cant believe this. Im worried about my cancer may have spread to my stomach or they messed something up and instead of having friends for support they all thing I've become a drug head or I want to be skinny on purpose. I just want my life back to normal. Cancer screwed up everything. My realtionships and my body. I almost feel like a really old person instead of someone who is only in their middle 30's. Sometimes I wish I could just run away from it all. It seems the only person who doesnt care about any of this is my little girl and thank God for her because at this point if it wasnt for her I dont know where I'd be right now. I just keep praying and hoping that the next day will be better. It has to right?

Is anyone out there?

  Well It was another very long day of doing nothing except trying to keep my 5yr old from driving the dogs totally nuts and destroying the house to bad. It  always floors me how someone so little can destroy a room so fast after I cleaded it 10 min ago. Is it Monday yet? lol. Another thing that is just amazing to me is that my husband works a job that keeps him away several weeks at a time and when he is gone he will call me at least 6 to 10 times a day. The conversations may not last that long but still its more that we talk when he is home. I try to talk about us and he totally shuts down.  I starting to really wonder if we are going to make it and it just breaks my heart because I love him so much and I need my family right now more than ever with all the testing Im fixing to go through. My tumor levels are still down but ever since I had surgury Ive had problems with my stomache. So Im fixing to be going through alot of testing and after all the stuff I've already been through I dread it and I cant imagine doing this without him. He is my rock. If it wouldnt of been for him and my kids I would of made it through the last surgeries and horriable chemo treatments. I just dont understand. I have never felt so alone as I do right now. Boy I really do sound like a real bummer dont I? who would want to read this crap. I guess Im just doing it for me more than anything.

My first time doing this

 Ive never done any kind of "blogging" but I cant seem to talk to anyone else so I guess Ill give this a try. As anyone will soon learn I go through alot and have been through alot and Im not sure how things are going to end up going. I got diagnosed with cancer a little over a year ago and even tho things are going really well with that part of it things with my marriage has went down hill. It seems we have become so distant and we both become different people. I miss "us" and it has really started to take its toll on me. Everyday is a routine and Im getting sooo bored and I just want him to talk to me or anything!! Anyway its late and I'll explain more of everything later. thanks for being there if anyone even does read this.