Is anyone out there?

  Well It was another very long day of doing nothing except trying to keep my 5yr old from driving the dogs totally nuts and destroying the house to bad. It  always floors me how someone so little can destroy a room so fast after I cleaded it 10 min ago. Is it Monday yet? lol. Another thing that is just amazing to me is that my husband works a job that keeps him away several weeks at a time and when he is gone he will call me at least 6 to 10 times a day. The conversations may not last that long but still its more that we talk when he is home. I try to talk about us and he totally shuts down.  I starting to really wonder if we are going to make it and it just breaks my heart because I love him so much and I need my family right now more than ever with all the testing Im fixing to go through. My tumor levels are still down but ever since I had surgury Ive had problems with my stomache. So Im fixing to be going through alot of testing and after all the stuff I've already been through I dread it and I cant imagine doing this without him. He is my rock. If it wouldnt of been for him and my kids I would of made it through the last surgeries and horriable chemo treatments. I just dont understand. I have never felt so alone as I do right now. Boy I really do sound like a real bummer dont I? who would want to read this crap. I guess Im just doing it for me more than anything.