Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Is there really a such thing as true friends?

I really try to not let alot of stuff bother me, but it just seems like its just been one thing after another and now something is going around by people I thought were friends that has really just floored me.  Every since I had my hystorectomy and other stuff done during the surgery I've had alot of problems with my stomach and just food period. Its seems it either goes right through me or comes up. I do eat even tho it is very painful but nothing I does has helped and needless to say Ive lost alot of weight. Its gotton worse in the past 3 months or so and it has nothing to do with the chemo I went through because I had the problems before the chemo and right after the surgery. Anyway instead of  anyone just asking me whats going on so I can inform them that Im fixing to be going through a ton of test to get to the bottom of it...oh no they " my so-called-friends" have been saying "have you seen her and how much weight she has lost? She must be doing drugs or making herself throw up". The only reason I did find out is some of them finally asked one of my family members about it. I just cant believe this. Im worried about my cancer may have spread to my stomach or they messed something up and instead of having friends for support they all thing I've become a drug head or I want to be skinny on purpose. I just want my life back to normal. Cancer screwed up everything. My realtionships and my body. I almost feel like a really old person instead of someone who is only in their middle 30's. Sometimes I wish I could just run away from it all. It seems the only person who doesnt care about any of this is my little girl and thank God for her because at this point if it wasnt for her I dont know where I'd be right now. I just keep praying and hoping that the next day will be better. It has to right?

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